LSU Atlanta

HURRICANE WARNING:
The National Weather Service has issued a Hurricane Warning exclusively for central Florida. A very rare west-to-east tropical system is expected to develop from an area of disturbance into a category 6 “Damn Strong” hurricane, to be named Mike.

Upper-level conditions indicate Hurricane Mike will exhibit unprecedented behavior of intensifying at a high altitude, skipping over coastal land and making landfall at full strength in the Urban area of Gainesville, Florida on the evening of Saturday, October 11th. The Gator population will be at the greatest risk of being swamped. All except those wearing purple and gold should prepare for weeping and wailing and the gnashing of teeth.

Mike A. Tiger’s Weekly Game Blog: Florida

THE LSU Fighting Tigers
vs.

The Florida Gators

It’s going to get ugly in the Swamp this year. Wait, it’s always ugly in and around the Swamp. Their scaly mascot should wear a mullet and jean shorts that is the common gear of many Gator fans. And you should see what the guys wear!

Oh, my.

Let’s be honest here. Part of the reason why the Gators are hated by so many other fanbases is because of the program’s overall success since Steve Spurrier a/k/a Darth Visor slithered home to his ancestral college hatchery and his orange and blue Evil Empire carpet-bombed the SEC for a decade. And that success has been occasionally reptile-cated by teams lead by Ron Zook and, more notably, Urban Meyer. Another reason for the disdain is that Gator fans like to believe it has always been that way, while everyone else seems to have a much clearer memory of the general mediocrity punctuated by occasional win streaks that characterized Florida football history prior to 1990. If you don't count the championships stripped due to probation brought on by coach Charley Pell, the first SEC championship won by the Gators came in 1991. Don't ask me about how LSU fared while Visor Boy chomped up the SEC. At least our dark ages have been much shorter than theirs.

Whatever the reason, Florida is one of those lightning rod programs that college football fans either love or hate, like Notre Dame, Miami, USC and, more recently, LSU. But, the Gator Nation just has a special kind of elan and exuberance that evokes the passionate disdain of others. I have no idea why. Umm…okay, yes I do.

Enough already. Let’s talk about the game.

Prior to Ole Miss trotting out of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium with a spiffy new pair of alligator boots a couple of weeks ago, the media and just about anyone else outside of the Red Stick was thinking LSU doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in Gainesville of winning at Florida this year. We entered the season without a seasoned quarterback. The Swamp is The Killing Field for most visitors. And everyone knows that Les Miles is an idiot and Urban Meyer is a football Genius (capital G), despite his growing record of poor game management, lax attitude toward players with criminal issues, “obfuscation” on the recruiting trail (let’s not call him a liar, let’s use a college term for it) and other dirty tricks done to recruits who dare say no to him, and his tendency to shirk any and all responsibility for losses by whining and throwing his players under the bus. Other than that, he’s a model head coach who won a National Championship with Ron Zook’s players.

Hey, if you want to hang that logic on Les Miles for winning with you-know-who’s players, it’s fair to apply it to Meyer.

Many expected this to be “the game” of the season for LSU. Last year Mike the Tiger (Les Miles) threw Heisman winner Timmy into the well, while Lassie (Urban Meyer) looked on in stunned amazement.

"Don't worry, girl. We'll get those mean ole Tigers next year!"
"Wooo...wooo...owwwwowwoww!"

Les Miles cemented his curious image as a freewheeling riverboat gambler in that game by going for it (and getting it) repeatedly in the fourth quarter and muscling out a win over the previous year’s national champs. (Fact is, Miles respected Tim Tebow and knew that he would probably pull off a game-winning drive if given the chance, so he talked about just such a game with his staff and senior players, and all agreed it would be better to go for it than to give the ball back too many times to Tebow. What a freaking idiot
that Les Miles is!)

Miles has instilled a positive winning attitude in his teams at LSU. He knows what talent and leadership exists on the team and trusts them to get the job done come hell or high water. Do we have the kind of gutsy leadership and determination with the 2008 Tigers that Flynn, Hester, Dorsey, Hester, Steltz and Hester showed on that championship team? Given the way they responded to adversity on the road against Auburn, the prospect for overcoming challenges in the remaining games is optimistic. Trust the Hat.

LSU Medical School researchers studying brain functioning in crisis and high stress situations asked Les Miles to submit to a scan. The results shown above indicate that there are definite differences between the normal coach’s brain and that of high-percentage winning coaches.

Prediction: This game is going to surprise a lot of people who still think it will be the Gators all the way. Florida’s defense is good but suspect, and you can have a wagonload of offensive fireworks and still not succeed in the SEC if you don’t have a great defense. Ask Hal Mumme. And Florida’s O has been underachieving - not only are the Gators trying to find an identity, the injury bug is decaying what O line they started the season with. And please, don't point to their point differential over hapless Arkansas last Saturday as evidence of a great turnaround. Meyer and staff have been struggling to get Tim Tebow to take off the cape and rely more on his team. Now that he is staying in the pocket more, his production is still down over last season. Heisman Jinx??? The lion’s share of rushing plays have featured Bizarro Superman and Percy Harvin and the RB corps has not been effective even when they have been given opportunities.

Urban’s spread and speed philosophy does not provide the kind of power game that is frequently needed when playing against equal or superior talent. The Mad Hatter Les Miles and The Wizard Gary Crowton believe in a multiple offense that can both outfox you with spread-style distribution of the ball as well as shove the ball down your gullet with relentless efficiency. Looks like Auburn has learned their lesson after looking the Tigers in the “I”.

What looked in August like the strongest team in the East is currently competing with UGA to be the SEC underachievement story of the season. Look for LSU to jump up early and then eat the clock with a methodical ball control ground and short passing game, adding in a couple of bombs flying out of play action when they crowd up the line to stop Scott. LSU will not just win, but do it in dominating, grinding fashion and insure that the tailspin grows steeper for the falling reptiles. While Mikey expects our secondary may get torched by Tebow for a couple of long passes, Meyer and Co. will be badly outcoached and outplayed from wire to wire. LSU 27, Urban Blight 13.

Finally, here is the 6 day forecast for Gainesville for Hurricane Mike:

Fear the Hat, reptiles. And it ain't Crocodile Dundee!

Your Pal,

Mike A. Tiger

LSU Faithful in the ATL: Please join us at one of our two view-in locations to watch Tiger Football this fall= Rio Grande Cantina in Buckhead or Buffalo Wild Wings in Alpharetta. We promise you won’t find a better viewing party with your fellow fans!

NOTE: Special thanks to some fiendishly clever Vol fans who produced a few of the Gator bashing images and photos seen here, to the even more clever LSUfreek (Les Miles brain scan) who seems to have his funny stuff everywhere, and to the anonymous LSU artist who originally created Hurricane Mike in 2002 and whose name is lost in the fog of history.