Mike A. Tiger's LSU Football Preview - Appy St.

Dear LSU Fans in the ATL: Please join us at one of our two view-in locations to watch Tiger Football this fall. We promise you won’t find a better viewing party with your fellow fans. See the front page for the whole story.

MIKE A. TIGER’S WEEKLY GAME PREVIEW

GAME 1:

LSU Fighting Tigers

vs.

The Appalachian State Mouseketeers

It’s finally here, the season opener for the “Defending” National Champion LSU Tigers. Let’s get that out of the way right up top – Les Miles said we ain’t defending anything. The crystal BCS ball ball is in the trophy case, we will never give it up, and this is a new team and a new season.

Ah, but there’s nothing like a Saturday night in Tiger Stadium. Huh? Kickoff at 3 o’clock Central? What sadistic fiends ordered that?

Can’t we say no? We can’t? Oh the humanity! This will be an expensive excursion to Death Valley – fans will have to take out bank loans for what all that Tiger Water is going to cost them. The good news about this early kickoff is that Boone, North Carolina has NEVER seen heat and humidity like Baton Rouge will offer at 4 pm on an August Saturday. Appalachian State had better have plenty of IV lines in the locker room.

As season openers against weak opponents go, this one has a little more fizzle in the izzle. (Apparently, Snoop Dogg is a Tiger fan now.)

The hype machine will try to make this a Meeting Of The Titans, and the memory of last year’s historic defeat of the mighty Michigan Wolverines in their own stadium by a lower division upstart raises the bar a notch. But this is a new year for them too, and while they have potential on offense they will be fielding four new starters in their secondary and they lack the beef to outmuscle a very nasty Tiger Oline and perhaps the best group of running backs and receivers on one team in the nation.

But the Mouseketeers are a pesky, well-coached bunch and-in line with our Disney theme- they believe they can be Cinderella again.

WATCH THIS: CHAMP VS CHAMP

Actually that’s a pretty well done video. But if it was intended as smack talk, we’ve seen better smack from Vanderbilt fans. “Champ V Champ?” Yes, they deserve a little respect for winning their division. Did you notice their championship rings are made from cubic zirconia? LSU is “2nd only to USC?” Okay, that kinda ticks us off, but it was a quote from ESPN. This, from the network that gave us experts like

Trev “I molest puppies” Alberts, Kirk “Hey, why is so dark in here, and why does my neck hurt so bad” Herbstreit, and Lou “Granny Clampett” Holtz.

Hey Mouseketeers, LSU ain’t Michigan. The good news is that you are tall enough to get on this ride. The bad news is that Tiger Stadium ain’t the “Big House,” it’s Death Valley.

WATCH THIS: THE REAL DEATH VALLEY

And after we Tiger Bait you, pat you on the back and fill your Grizzly Adams gullets with Cajun cuisine and Abita beer, prepare to assume the position.

Prediction: The Mouseketeers will come on strong and then wilt, with nothing left in the tank by the fourth quarter. The team and its followers will have the same facial expressions you see on weary parents pushing strollers at Disneyworld around 5:30 in the afternoon. The Ridgerunners will talk about how they played a great first half and held off the mighty defending big boy champs. This will elevate them to Tulane fan status. Moral victories are for losers. LSU 42, Boone’s Farm 13. Talk about cheap whine.

Mike A. Tiger's LSU Football Preview - Appy St.
Submitted by Mike A. Tiger on August 20, 2008 - 11:58am Sports
Dear LSU Fans in the ATL: Please join us at one of our two view-in locations to watch Tiger Football this fall. We promise you won’t find a better viewing party with your fellow fans. See the front page for the whole story. MIKE A. TIGER’S WEEKLY GAME PREVIEW GAME 1: LSU Fighting Tigers vs. The Appalachian State Mouseketeers It’s finally here, the season opener for the “Defending” National Champion LSU Tigers. Let’s get that out of the way right up top – Les Miles said we ain’t defending anything. The crystal BCS ball ball is in the trophy case, we will never give it up, and this is a new team and a new season. Ah, but there’s nothing like a Saturday night in Tiger Stadium. Huh? Kickoff at 3 o’clock Central? What sadistic fiends ordered that? Can’t we say no? We can’t? Oh the humanity! This will be an expensive excursion to Death Valley – fans will have to take out bank loans for what all that Tiger Water is going to cost them. The good news about this early kickoff is that Boone, North Carolina has NEVER seen heat and humidity like Baton Rouge will offer at 4 pm on an August Saturday. Appalachian State had better have plenty of IV lines in the locker room. As season openers against weak opponents go, this one has a little more fizzle in the izzle. (Apparently, Snoop Dogg is a Tiger fan now.) The hype machine will try to make this a Meeting Of The Titans, and the memory of last year’s historic defeat of the mighty Michigan Wolverines in their own stadium by a lower division upstart raises the bar a notch. But this is a new year for them too, and while they have potential on offense they will be fielding four new starters in their secondary and they lack the beef to outmuscle a very nasty Tiger Oline and perhaps the best group of running backs and receivers on one team in the nation. But the Mouseketeers are a pesky, well-coached bunch and-in line with our Disney theme- they believe they can be Cinderella again. WATCH THIS: CHAMP VS CHAMP Actually that’s a pretty well done video. But if it was intended as smack talk, we’ve seen better smack from Vanderbilt fans. “Champ V Champ?” Yes, they deserve a little respect for winning their division. Did you notice their championship rings are made from cubic zirconia? LSU is “2nd only to USC?” Okay, that kinda ticks us off, but it was a quote from ESPN. This, from the network that gave us experts like Trev “I molest puppies” Alberts, Kirk “Hey, why is so dark in here, and why does my neck hurt so bad” Herbstreit, and Lou “Granny Clampett” Holtz. Hey Mouseketeers, LSU ain’t Michigan. The good news is that you are tall enough to get on this ride. The bad news is that Tiger Stadium ain’t the “Big House,” it’s Death Valley. WATCH THIS: THE REAL DEATH VALLEY And after we Tiger Bait you, pat you on the back and fill your Grizzly Adams gullets with Cajun cuisine and Abita beer, prepare to assume the position. Prediction: The Mouseketeers will come on strong and then wilt, with nothing left in the tank by the fourth quarter. The team and its followers will have the same facial expressions you see on weary parents pushing strollers at Disneyworld around 5:30 in the afternoon. The Ridgerunners will talk about how they played a great first half and held off the mighty defending big boy champs. This will elevate them to Tulane fan status. Moral victories are for losers. LSU 42, Boone’s Farm 13. Talk about cheap whine.